by Val Ensalaco, IWPA President
If it's Important, Wear it Close to the Heart
by Val Ensalaco, IWPA President
There are some lessons we never forget and I find this issue's article on networking by Marion Gold an important aid to building networking skills.
Some years ago as the director of corporate and foundation development for Benedictine University in Lisle, I attended a conference in Chicago. One of the featured programs was on soliciting charitable gifts from foreign countries. A delegation of Japanese businessmen was there and during a networking break, many people gathered around to talk with them. I was the only woman who joined the group. I listened attentively, making eye contact with the speakers. I was learning a lot, including through body language. But, when I asked a question, I was all but ignored. It seemed to me that day, more than 12 years ago, that these Japanese gentlemen weren't interested in dialogue with a woman.
At the end of that little networking session, the Japanese businessmen asked for business cards and bowed as they handed out theirs. The Americans in the group pulled out their billfolds and handed over their business cards. I didn't carry a purse or a billfold; everything I needed like cash, credit cards, driver's license and business cards was in my pockets. I reached into the inside breast pocket of my business suit and removed my crisp, clean cards from a protective case and carefully handed one to each of the outstretched hands, being sure the card faced the person who had asked for it, and graciously acknowledging their bow with a box of my head.
The day ended with a dinner after which I went to my room where I found an envelope under my door inviting me to a reception hosted by the Japanese businessmen I'd met earlier. Despite the fact that I felt I'd been treated rudely, I went to the reception. Not a single fundraiser who was part of the networking group was there. I immediately was made welcome, introduced to other guests, and was included in many conversations as I moved about the room of strangers. About 30 people were there, only three or four of whom were women.
Before I left for the evening, I asked the group's administrative aide how it was that I'd been invited to such an exclusive reception. I indicated I didn't see anyone from the networking group there. I was told that the hosts were impressed with my loyalty and affection for my organization. Here's what they saw earlier that day: the people who removed their wallets from their hip pockets to present their business cards made it clear what they thought of their organizations. My business card taken from my inside beast pocket was perceived as coming from next to my heart. . .an act valued by my hosts and considered a gracious reflection of how I felt about my employer. . .as well as how I would treat them should we develop a relationship. They also thought the question I had asked, which was about the Japanese culture and philanthropy to their own people and programs, reflected my interest in them as opposed to those questions being asked for self-serving reasons. My question was received not with indifference, I was told, but in surprise because it was not at all in keeping with how they perceived American fundraisers.
Networking 101 is right on target and when we work with diverse markets and audiences, it would be wise for us to do a little homework to learn their business etiquette expectations. Remember not to carry anything significant in your hip pocket if you're about to learn a new lesson. If it's important, keep it close to your heart.